Little thoughts from my empty mind 

Kehte hai “Aaj gam hai toh kal khushi milegi” . If there’s a darkness now, sunshine will be followed, believe me I’ve been waiting for this sunshine , starting a next day with a new hope have been my favorite thing to do and I’ve followed it without a question but now I’m tired, very tired. I wanna fly, fly away from here, my wings have been held by the societies norms and traditions, my wings have been held by my parents rules, I do not want to live this life, I want to go far away from here, and I’ve been waiting for this like forever. 

Is there any happiness in my destiny? Or is it going to continue this way? Is there anyway to forget your memory? I’d want to erase everything I’ve ever experienced, it’s too much to handle. I can’t handle it anymore. I’m standing on edge of my roof wondering where my life have taken me, wondering where that little girl is lost who would do anything to achieve her goals and dreams, she’s nowhere to found, this person is differnent, I’m now bounded by the rules, traditions, culture, norms of society, waiting for someone who’d cut of the bound and free me and take me away from here, because I’ve no energy left to do anything or even fight for myself. 
One real girl in a fake world 

How I fell in love with my bestfriend 

I looked out for him because I found him real attractive. Instantly we connected. I’m introvert and he’s extrovert, I still don’t know our common habits apart from eating food, but still we have a lot to talk about. We don’t get bored of each other that’s when I realized he’s my soulmate despite knowing someone else ruled over his heart and mind I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with him, how could I not he’s the most amazing I’ve ever met (tbh i have never let anyone close to me, see the introvert problems ) I could spend hours and we always had a topic to discuss. He’s smart when he needs to be, he’s kiddish when he needs to be, he’s also religious. We both love adventures and food, so this always gave us a reason to hangout.

One day I confessed my feelings for him, and that time I thought he’d eventually cut me off and forget me, instead our bond got stronger and we got more close. That’s why I respect him more, he cared about my feelings and he didn’t let that affect our friendship. It did hurt few times but I’m trying to let go of my feelings, I know it won’t take me anywhere. I don’t want to develop any negative feelings for him, that’s how much I love him or maybe more thn that. It’s been 6 months since I confessed my feelings and he probably thinks I’m over them, he doesn’t know I fell 10 times more for him in this much of time span.

To say that I’ve stopped loving you or missing would be an understatement. At nights when homosephians sleep, I go out and start gazing at the stars. Usually I wonder what would happen if you’d be there beside me at that moment, recently I want/need you next to me not only while gazing stars but also at 2pm when I’m not lonely. You’ve not only become my bestfriend but my habit I’d never want to get rid of and even the universe Cannot break that out. 

One real girl in a fake world 

Player 

There was this guy I used to like real bad, you wouldn’t believe I was loyal for around 3 years, let’s name him Amir. Amir was actually my relative, my cousin sister’s brother in law, lets name my cousin sister Samina, Samina’s in laws hadn’t actually accepted her because she had done love marriage. 

Amir was one person who didn’t care about my message, his ignorance attracted me towards him, wish I knew it was all a charade. He ignored me for around 2 years but from 3rd year he showed interest in me, I was on cloud 9, felt everything real and believed everything he said. Amir was hot marriageable guy, I even thought of getting married to him. How foolish of me, his nights were with me, we’d talk for hours about everything, I’d do everything he’d asked me. He was my weaknesss, and he would use me to his fullest. Days later when I went on vacation Samina’s sister Ayesha discussed the same incident with me fortunately or unfortunately the guy we spoke with was same. I was surprised and stunned, I didn’t ask him anything just left from his life. 

Years have passed to this incident, now when I think back I laugh at myself. How stupid of me to hold on to a person who never wanted me, who only wanted my body and not my soul. How idiot I was to not know his motive. 

Have anyone of you faced a similar situation, share your story in comment box. 


One real girl in a fake world 

Introduction 

Hello I don’t know how to start, firstly I would like you to know that I’m introvert, real introvert  and usually I’m unable to share my thoughts with anyone not even with my bestfriend. This is the sole reason I decided to start this blog and I hope this will work out and I’ll be able to write down my feelings quite well. 

This world feels real despite being virtual, at least I can communicate with people and talk openly. Usually when I talk with people I’m unable to express what I feel and I end up saying nothing. 

So that’s why I want to talk with people here, I don’t know if I’m lonely or anything as such but I don’t ive much friends. If you’re reading this and if you find this relatable then feel free to comment and tell me stuffs. 

one real girl in a fake world